Now
by Tayk
Summary: A Fushigi Yuugi reflection. Oneshot, angsty, spoiler warnings. Tamahome centric. Tamahome holds the dying Yuiren in his arms and thinks about family and seishi. Rated for character death.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fushigi Yuugi. It, unfortunately, belongs to a fat old guy in Oklahoma (can you tell that I don't like Yuu Watase?).  
**Full Summary:** A Fushigi Yuugi reflection. One-shot, angsty, spoiler warnings. Tamahome centric. Tamahome holds the dying Yuiren in his arms and thinks about family and seishi.  
**Author's Ramblings:** I hate Tamahome with a passion, but I like this fic... it's cute. I don't know why I wrote it but the outcome was nice. Enjoy. Oh, yes, one more thing. I officially hate writing in present-tense... please pardon any tense changes that I missed...

**Now**

My name is Sou Kishuku. I am the Suzaku no shichi seishi Tamahome. With the other seishi and out miko, Yuuki Miaka, I have been through a lot. The first time I met another seishi, for example, I was a prisoner at he palace. The other seishi was a beautiful man called Hotohori - also known as the emperor of Konan. Not the best impression I could have made. Nuriko, the next seishi I met, rescued Miaka and me from being crushed under a couple tons of marble and semi-precious stone. Chichiri saved Miaka and my family from assassins.

Tasuki and I met in a fight. I didn't know what I was doing. The only reason I didn't kill Miaka was because Tasuki was in my way. I ended up almost killing him instead. Mitsukake saved my life after Hotohori ran his sword through me. I was trying to kill him and Miaka at the time, so I can't really say I'm too angry at him. Chiriko, the real one, showed up after Amiboshi fell into a flooded river. Even though he's only thirteen, Chiriko stopped Amiboshi from driving us all insane and killing us.

Yes, my fellow seishi and I have been through some tough times, but I can't imagine anything worse than this. My home, the place I have lived all my life, is painted with the blood of my father and my younger siblings. They're dead... Otoo-san, Cheui, Gyokulen, Shunkei, little Yuiren... They're all dead. I had gotten gifts for them in the city, but the presents fall from my hands and strike the floor with a dull thud. I'm afraid as I call out their names, but only silence - horrible silence - answers me. Except... except for...

"Ani...ki..." Yuiren's voice is soft and rasping. I've never heard a more lovely or a more horrible sound. Instantly, I'm at her side and taking her gently into my arms. She feebly welcomes me home. She noticed Miaka and Nuriko and greets them, too. I tell her shakily that she has to stay awake, even if she's tired. She asks me if I'm going to leave again.

"No, Yuiren, never! I won't ever leave again! It'll be you and me forever." I'm choking on the words, but I have to get them out... I won't let her die. Once she's better, I won't ever let her out of my sight again. I'd do anything for her. I'd abandon Miaka and the seishi, move to Sairou, become a farmer - whatever she likes, as long as she lives. I don't say it aloud, but it's there and she knows it and I know it. And that's all that matters. Weakly, she tells me to marry Miaka and move here with my bride. She holds onto my thumb, but her grip is almost nonexistent.

"And we'll ... be..." Talking is a real struggle, draining precious energy, but she keeps at it. "A happy..." She can't finish the sentence. Her hand falls away. Her eyes slip closed and her head lolls to the side. Yuiren is dead. I shout her name, repeatedly and desperately, shaking her, but she doesn't wake up.

---

It was the Seiryu no shichi seishi Suboshi. He killed them. He wanted revenge for Amiboshi. I fought him, but he got away. And here I am, sitting at the graves of my family, crying the hardest I've ever cried... and thinking.

My family is dead. I don't want to believe it, but that is the reality I must eventually face. While they were alive, they were what I lived for. I loved protecting them and providing for them. I realize, now, without anyone to care for, I am nothing. I am useless. I have nothing to live for. I feel like I'll wither away to nothing without my father, without my sisters, without my brothers...

A thought suddenly dawns on me and it stills the tears for a moment. I _do_ have brothers still, even if they aren't mine by blood. The other seishi - they, and Miaka, are the ones I will live for. I look down at my hands and see that one has clenched into a fist. I lift my head and stare at the mounds of earth that hide my family's mangled corpses. The though nearly has me in tears again but I manage to hold them back. I swear to them that, as long as I am alive, none of the other seishi would suffer. I will not let any of them die. I will protect them with my life...

... because they are my family now.


End file.
